New Directions Stands Up to Domestic Violence

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Elizabeth Bailey

On January 20, 2008, Debria Andrews, 46, returned to the St. Paul home she had shared with her husband Bruce D. Andrews, 50, in order to pack up her things. It became the last project she ever undertook.

“If she had been in the shelter,” New Directions Women’s Shelter Executive Director Jan Bartels said, “we wouldn’t have let her go back there alone to get her things.”

As it turned out, Bruce Andrews shot and killed Debria Andrews before taking his own life.

Although this is the only documented instance of a domestic violence fatality in Decatur County in the past year, even one is too many, Bartels noted.

New Directions works to promote awareness of domestic violence in order to prevent situations from reaching this tragic end, especially during October, which is Domestic Violence Awareness month. If a woman is being abused by her partner, a call to the shelter can offer support groups and other methods to help her choose a path to a better life.

“Even if she chooses to go back, we are here as a resource,” Bartels said.

Women and children can stay at the shelter to stay safe, since the homes of family and friends are often the first places an abuser will start looking, she noted. The shelter is a secure location that offers women a safe place to choose their course of action.

Legal proceedings can be problematic, as many situations are not witnessed and become “he said/she said” disputes. Regardless, victims need support and resources to help them through.

Bartels said it is the community’s responsibility to remain vigilant about domestic violence. People should keep in mind that abusers are controllers, she explained, so if a friend or family member withdraws from usual activities or ceases to be social or involved, it can be a warning sign. Repeated injuries are also a potential sign. Even if a person suspects their friend or relative is being abused, conversations can be hard to begin.

“They are with these men because they love them,” Bartels said.

This is why it can be helpful to get advice from an advocate by calling New Directions. They can offer suggestions or brochures to help a person get their concerns across. Victims, she said, will hide their abuse as long as possible out of embarrassment. This is true not only for physical abuse but for emotional abuse as well. Name-calling and constant put-downs are not a normal part of a loving relationship, Bartels said, so these, too, must be considered.

If a person takes the opportunity to call the shelter and decides to get out of their negative living situation, the county’s shelter is not the only one of its kind. It is part of a network under the umbrella of Turning Points. This includes shelters for men who are being abused.

As gas prices fluctuate and unemployment rates grow, abuse between members of households becomes increasingly prevalent. Drug and alcohol use also contributes to violence, Bartels noted, such that it is involved in 85 percent of domestic violence cases.

Bartels hopes the community will watch out for its members, realizing that violence affects everyone in the home, even if they do not suffer physical injury. Even infants can suffer trauma from being in an abusive environment. Beyond that, children develop a flawed image of what life is supposed to be.

The staff of New Directions is dedicated to continuing training and networking to offer the best care to victims in Decatur County as possible.

“We may be a small shelter, but we have as much expertise as anyone,” Bartels said.

To learn more about warning signs, ask for help or find out about volunteer opportunities, call the shelter at 662-8822.

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